Monkey Business

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

Discussing things as they're meant to be;

Said one to the others, "Now listen you two,

There's a certain rumour that can't be true,

That man descended from our noble race;

The very idea! ~ it's a dire disgrace;

No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her baby, or ruined her life,

And you've never known a mother monk

to leave her babies with others to bunk

Or pass them on from one to another,

Till they scarcely know who is their mother,

And another thing. You'll never see

A monk build a fence around a coconut tree,

And let the coconuts go to waste,

Forbidding all other monks a taste.

Why, if I put a fence around this tree

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here's another thing a monk won't do;

Go out at night and get in a stew;

Or use a club, a gun, a knife

To take some other monkey's life.

Yes man descended, the ornery cuss,

But brother, he didn't descend from us!"

I have had these words of wisdom pasted into a book for over a decade, but sorry, do not know who the author is.